They found Bigfoot! Wait a minute…no they didn’t

Published 2:36 pm Thursday, September 4, 2008

What kind of world is it that we live in where a pair of idiots can stuff a gorilla costume, freeze it in a block of ice, declare it a mythical man-beast of the woods, and hold us all hostage for a few days?

Yeah. I admit it. I hoped it was Bigfoot.

And so did you.

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There’s something about a hairy, seven-foot tall, missing link stalking through the forests and underbrush of North American that speaks to the kid in us all. Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, aliens, ghosts, sea serpents, leprechauns, Elvis…you know. The myths. The legends. The things we have no business believing in but choose to believe them anyway.

Even in the face of that awful word with those awful people.

The awful word being Science. The awful people being Scientists.

Let’s face it: Science and the Scientists have basically come along and ruined it for us. Poltergeists are explained away as optical illusions. Déj vu is the misfiring of your brain’s neurons. The Ouija board can no more contact the dead than a man can stop the car he’s driving and ask directions.

Can’t you just picture them? Scientists all huddled around a tiny table, white lab coats, evil little sneers on their faces, measuring this, calculating that…just for that A-HA! When they can prove to us all what utter fools we have been.

Where’s the mystery now days? Not so long ago – in the life of the Earth that is – Columbus sailed across the ocean-blue, thinking he could very well float right out into the Milky Way and into oblivion. Medieval Europe was populated by people who believed a wolf’s bite could turn one into werewolf. And the Kraken roamed the deeps of the Atlantic Ocean, snatching sailors from their ships for dinner.

Maybe, in our hearts, we’re thankful the latest Bigfoot-flam was just that. Proof would have taken away at least that uncertainty in our lives.

So the chase goes on.