Spiritual nuggets on the marquee

Published 12:00 am Monday, February 28, 2005

Back in 2003, I wrote a column about church signs and how some are humorous, some are subtle, there are some with a serious side, but the main thing is they all make their point.

Well since then I've had several people who continue to send in signs they have seen or that they've heard about from all across the county.

With some of my own research, I thought I would share the ones I thought were funny with you.

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"Do not wait for six strong men to take you to church."

"Don't give up! Moses was once a basketcase too."

"Church parking only. Violators will be baptized."

"What the church needs is less block and more tackle."

"Meet Me at My house before the Super Bowl-God."

"A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing."

"Need an opinion from a religious pundit?

Ask God!"

"You have to get out of the boat to walk on water."

"God deals only in full custody.

Not weekend parental rights."

"If you let the devil ride with you, he'll want to drive."

"Come in out of the heat and visit our really cool church."

"God can mend your broken heart, but you'll have to give him all the pieces."

"Laying in bed on Sunday morning saying

"oh God" does

not constitute going to church."

&uot;Under same management for over 2000 years&uot; 

&uot;Beat the Easter rush, come to church this Sunday!&uot; 

 &uot;Life has many choices, Eternity has two. What’s yours?&uot; 

 &uot;He perfected saving long before Wal-Mart was heard of.&uot; 

&uot;It’s hard to stumble when you’re down on your knees."

&uot;Did it ever occur to

you that nothing ever occurs to God? - because he has already

thought of everything.

&uot;There are two things

I’ve learned: 1. There is a God. 2. And, it’s not


"If God is your co-pilot, swap seats!"

"The sky is not limit."

"Even Donald Trump quakes in His boardroom."

"A dam holds water back.  It’s not my last name." (God)

"Read the Bible….It will scare the Hell out of you!"

"1 Cross + 3 Nails = 4 Given"

"You think summer in Alabama is hot?

You don't know hot like Satan knows hot."

"Soul food served here."

Again, I would like to say thanks to those of you have sent me some of these. Others have been found on the Internet along the way.

All in all, there is a little nugget of truth in each one I think.

Of course if you see one or two along your journey, feel free to drop me a line and I'll save it and use it the next time I compile a list.

Jay Thomas is managing editor of the Greenville Advocate and can be reached at 382-3111, ext. 136 or via email at jay. thomas@greenvilleadvocate.com.