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Time for a resolution, time to hide

I've always looked at New Year's as a time to look to the future, or at least the coming year. Like everyone, I make a list of "New Year's Resolutions." These resolutions will improve my life and things will be good. I seem to forget that along the way, while the intention is there and good, the motivation is just non-existent.

Every year I tell myself this same philosophy only to realize by February that I have failed miserably.

What was wrong with the past resolutions? Last year I thought about firming up my body and to be looking buff and suave by summer. I was really serious. I was going to be a gym bunny if it killed me.

I joined the Y, bought protein shakes and vowed never to enter Burger King ever again.

I showed dedication to my diet and exercise regimen for about three days. To make life easier, Tracy Salter and I decided to join the Y at the same time and we would spend our lunch hour at the gym every day.

Well first she had a lame excuse, then I had an even lamer excuse.

Finally we got together and went.

Up on the treadmills I went determined to walk the pounds away.

As Tracy began to huff and puff I continued at a casual stroll and event commented on how relaxing it was.

Little did I know that the previous user had been on mystery track and suddenly I found myself

at a trot and soon a gallop.

My heart was about to explode and I was begging Tracy to shoot me from her machine.

Sadly, she could only laugh. I finally found the emergency stop button and WHAM! off the machine I went towards the wall.

That was probably the last time I went to the Y.

I think the world needs chubby people and I'm their leader.

So if you must, make those resolutions but make them realistic.

Good intentions alone don't result in change. We all want to either lose weight, get a better job, stop smoking or buy a bigger house. These things are great goals to set for ourselves for the year to come, but it seems the changes that occur are the ones that aren't planned.

When I make these resolutions that are really unrealistic, should I feel like a failure?

If you do the same, should you?

I don't think so.

By no means am I perfect. No one is.

And by resolving to do something does not mean it will happen.

I have learned the unexpected things in life are what changes my life for the better.

Things like meeting new friends, adding new family members or letting other long withering relationships die.

So I'm going to make these resolutions:

1. I resolve to be more charitable in 2005.

2. I resolve to lose 25 pounds in 2005.

3. I resolve to visit at least two places I've never been before.

4. I resolve to be more tolerant.

5. I resolve to have more faith.

6. I resolve to spend more time with family.

7. I resolve to to be a penpal with someone around the world.

8. I resolve to send flowers to at least one person for no good reason.

9. I resolve to build something with my hands.

10. I resolve to care more.

Wish me luck, and to you, have a happy New Year.

Jay Thomas is managing editor of the Greenville Advocate and can be reached at 382-3111, ext. 136 or via email at jay.thomas@greenvilleadvocate.com.