Age doesn#039;t matter, Just do it#039;

Published 12:00 am Wednesday, February 13, 2002

It seems that the further we get into adulthood, past middle-age and into supersonic fossil-age, the further we regress into babydom.

The big hitch is that we're not nearly so limber as those infants, the wee ones that find no difficulty whatever in putting their feet in their mouths


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Us oldsters find no difficulty in putting our feet in our mouths either, but we can do this only figuratively.

We tend to stiffen up with age, the joints creak, and all at once we begin to notice how difficult it is to tie our shoes.

If that simple process gets more complicated with the years, it's a certain-sure indication that it's time to switch from brogans to sandals or loafers.

Once this is accomplished, and your roommate, be it your spouse or whatever, stops giggling insanely as you struggle to get your socks over your toes and properly aligned at the heel, then

and only then

can you sigh with relief.

But wait, don't sigh with too much gusto, something might tear or you may pull or muscle.

When your "fat" clothes

the ones that used to hang loosely on the old frame

get too snug for comfort, you're just about over the hill.

And when the seams of those old threads begin to unravel, then you know, or feel that you know, that you have reached the point of "no return."

When just the thought of toe-touching or pushups gives you the sweats, then the time must be drawing nigh for old Gabriel to start tooting his horn.

All the foregoing is very disheartening indeed, but we feel we have arrived at a possible solution to the problems inherent in the fast-flying addition of the years to our lives.

That solution, a great discovery after shedding the harness goes something like this: (1) Immerse yourself in your hobbies, playtime and community involvement, (2) Think beautiful thoughts, (3) Put an abrupt halt to eating between meals, and (4) Think more beautiful thoughts and practice your Christianity.

Follow that regimen and everything will come up roses.

Try it, you'll like it, or in the now' vernacular, "just do it."