Censored video vs. bootleg TV

Published 12:00 am Saturday, March 10, 2001

Beware, folks, because just around the corner there skulks a micro-chip that poses a great innovative miracle that could alter destiny.

We refer here to that inanimate object that somehow could be inserted into the earth's atmosphere.

It would regulate television programming, if we understand correctly the interpretation offered by savants in the video sector, allowing only selected, approved network programs into your living room.

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Its purpose on the surface appears laudable in that it would screen out a lot of Triple X-rated and other indigestible shows that currently are at fingertip control of our innocent children.

We fear that the absence of availability of those low-class, no-class programs might serve only to give rise to the creation of "blind pig" offerings of those shows.

A "blind-pig", an inventive description of the Volstead era, simply put, was a pub that made bathtub gin available to a thirsting public when consumption of alcoholic beverages of any description was illegal.

Thus the child, on being denied access to those lurid video offerings, might find the lure of those verboten

TV displays strong enough to make him seek out, perhaps at great expense, a place where he could view such evil fare unfettered.

This in turn might give rise to creation of alleyway blind pigs where amoral proprietors, like Scrooge, could fatten their purses.

It might also give rise to creation of yet another "regulatory bureaucracy."

Such folk, we feel, are about as reprehensible and perverted as the drug dealers and pushers who thrive on other people's misery.

Don't know how you feel on this subject, but it's perhaps obvious that I'm agin' it, especially when considering the possible effect it might have on my innocent grandchildren.

We don't need micro-chips.

What we need is caring, parental concern for the generations to come.

Paddy Chayevsky described television as democracy at its ugliest, and David Frost opined that TV enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home.

An unknown source allows that the human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.

And it was Fred Allen who said imitation is the sincerest form of television.