That dastardly Grinch

Published 12:00 am Saturday, December 23, 2000

The Grinch did his doggondest to steal Christmas last year, but he got himself caught in his own trap.

He figured he'd go to this little house, see, where a family of poor folks lived, a mama, a daddy, three boys and two girls, and steal their Christmas gifts during the night of Christmas Eve.

The rich man up the road, the one the poor daddy worked for, had arranged the week before Christmas to give the poor family a few days off during the holiday season.

This was prompted by a visiting expedition he had gone on around Thanksgiving time. His visits had included one to the vicar's house (vicar is a high-falutin' word for preacher) and that is where he caught that rare disease, C.S.

Strange time of year for C.S. (Christmas Spirit) his wife said, because it usually hits during the crush of the shopping season.

Anyhow, what he did was to plan this Christmas morning party at his house for the occasion. Included were gifts of all sorts for one and all, and a sumptuous banquet for the tenant family.

In the dark of Christmas Eve night, the Grinch crept up to the poor man's house, eased into the front room, and started sacking all the gifts he could find into a croaker sack.

Just as he completed his nefarious deed, the living room light flashed on, and there stood the entire family, wishing him a Merry Christmas.

To his chagrin, he pulled out one gift, then another until he had replaced them all beneath the tree.

"Oh, but those are your gifts, Mr. Grinch," said the papa, "we got them for you."

The Grinch examined them one by one, and sure enough, each one bore his name.

What a backfire.

What had happened was the family, through some mysterious communication, had learned of the Grinch's intent and thus "killed" him with kindness. A very effective weapon.

The family trekked to the big house up the road later that morning and shared the most glorious Christmas of their lives with those at the mansion.

The happiest of all happy endings came as the sun sank below the horizon, and the family caroled its way back home. There they found their humble gifts, but no trace of the Grinch.

They had effectively eradicated, for all time, any trace of the dreaded Grinch.

We've eliminated that monster down here at The Advocate, and hope you have done likewise at your house.