Word Police are threatening right to express ourselves

Published 12:00 am Wednesday, May 31, 2000

The "word police" have been extremely active in recent history – going around collaring people for having the temerity to say out loud what they think, of all things.

Whoever heard of an individual expressing himself orally, unloading his innermost thoughts on the public. It simply isn't done, old chap.

Folks should keep their traps shut; they should never inflict their opinions on the unsuspecting public of the good old U. S. of A.

To do so might hurt someone's feelings and we wouldn't want that to happen, now would we?

In one, two, three, and now four in order, how the mighty have fallen because they have violated that unwritten law that says you must harness your tongue lest you offend certain clcments of society.

We'd name those offenders here except for two facts: (1) you probably already know who they are, and (2) to do so might cause a very restrictive rein to be placed on my pen, even as I write.

But, what the heck, let's chance it, to a small degree anyhow, by whispering to our valued readership the first names of the fallen ones:

Old Earl, Old Howard, Old George and most recently, Old Marge.

They almost nabbed Old Andy too but by devious means and some nifty broken-field running he somehow managed to wriggle off the hook.

So, what's the next step folks?

It doesn't stretch the imagination too far to consider the possible introduction of the "thought police."

You can almost envision it.

Everyone in this civilization may be seen in the very near future walking around with small electro transdusers stuck on their temples.

The thought police, carrying handheld transponders, will patrol the streets subjecting one and all to surveillance, reading their innermost thoughts, recording them on their mini-computers and issuing tickets to those who dast think "no-no" thoughts.

Those who think violent thoughts may be handcuffed on the spot, or straitjacketed and hauled off to the crowbar motel.

Don't snort and laugh, my friend, that scenario is a live, vibrant possibility.

Many thanks to the late Lewis Grizzard (a great, heroic spokesman for this region of the U.S.) for planting the "word police" idea into this limited plot of grey matter.

Despite the odds, Lewis' cogitations have flourished and thrived, giving rise to the "thought cop" concept.

Hopefully someday the "freedom of speech" clause in the U.S. Constitution will be revitalized.