quot;Mighty Macquot; considers presidential run with Everyman Party

Published 12:00 am Wednesday, March 1, 2000

I have seriously considered running for President.

But, after kicking that idea around for a while, I decided to trash the notion, at least for this election year.

There were several factors contributing to my decision in this matter.

In the first place, I was intimidated by the number of applicants vying for the position. They were affiliated with the three major parties already involved.

Three? Yup, in case you haven't heard, the Democrats and Republicans have been joined by the Reform Party in their quest for the top job.

The Reform hopefuls include Big Ears, the Gambler and Mr. Super Right, all better (or equally well) known as Ross Perot, Donald Trump and Pat Buchanan–in that order.

There are two major contenders representing the Demos, Bill Bradley and Al Gore.

The GOP has two leading candidates, George Walker Bush and John McCain, followed by a host of also-runners.

That's just too many folks for yours truly to contend with this go-round.

For all but one of these politicians, the entire campaign is an exercise in futility.

Taking all this into account has caused me to congratulate myself on my wisdom in withholding my candidacy at this time.

But, wait til next year—er—'til 2004.

That will give me plenty of time to spread the word nationwide about all the stering qualities I possess.

It also will present me with an opportunity to stick my hand out to bring in the sorely needed $100 million that must be raised to defray

the humongous expenses of my campaign.

When the people learn that my name is as familiar as a household word they'll

certainly tilt the old see-saw in my favor.

I'll be known as "Mighty Mac," the greatest gift to the world since sliced bread. Folk'll certainly put the X by my name, taking advantage of my unlimited talent and capability.

My party–a new departure from the GOP and the Demos–must have a label, so why not call it the "Everyman Party?"

After all, who else can be all things for all the people and at the same time deal the cards with an even hand?

So, I say again, "wait til 2004, and then the world will become a better place."