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Diaper changing gone very, very wrong

I think most folks would agree that there are just some things that mom is better at than dad.

I’m not saying that dads aren’t good parents, so please don’t send me an angry email or leave me a long voicemail telling me just how wrong I am. I’m just saying that in some of the day-to-day tasks of parenting, moms hold a slight edge — or maybe a Grand Canyon-sized edge. Go with whichever one helps you sleep better at night.

As new parents (seven months on the job this week), my wife, Jennifer, and I quickly learned that parenting is hard.

We’ve learned that you can listen to all the sage advice from your parents, church family, friends and strangers in the grocery store; you can read all the parenting how-to books; and you can Google what the well-meaning advice sharers and how-to books didn’t tell you, but guess what — you still have to figure it out yourself.

I believe this is where moms hold the edge.

That’s certainly the case in our house.

For instance, changing diapers.

Look, no one wants to do it. It’s smelly. It’s gross. It’s at times terrifying.

In the best of cases, it can be tough. Throw in a diaper rash and it becomes something like running a marathon barefoot. Only the strongest survive.

Several weeks ago, after beginning to eat some solid foods, our daughter, Olivia, developed her first bad diaper rash. Whenever she would need to be changed, she would scream and cry. For some reason the wipes caused her even more pain.

So, my wife suggested we pass on the wipes and use a warm washcloth instead. Genius!

No more screaming and crying.

There are just some things moms are better at.

Our babysitter, Mrs. Mattie Neese, did us both one better. She told me that because of the diaper rash, instead of using wipes or the washcloth she was just rinsing Olivia off in the bathroom sink.

My mind was blown.

Why did we not think of this earlier?

Apparently there are just some things that babysitters are better at.

So, the next time Olivia needed changing, I gave it a try.

I carried her to the bathroom and stripped off her onesie. She was just as calm as could be.

Then I pulled off her diaper. I’ll save you the details, but just know that it was, well, full.

As I began to lower her to the sink, she went from calm, carefree baby to tiny, angry ninja.

There was kicking, slapping, eye gouging and screaming.

In just moments our sink looked like it had been visited by a small group of monkeys. Figure it out.

I quickly aborted, ran over to the shower, switched on the water, and plunged us both in.

It worked. I wouldn’t recommend that method, though. There’s a lot of cleanup involved.

I later learned that, Mrs. Mattie was suggesting that method for — well, let’s call it No. 1.

Good parenting is in the details.

I think you’ll be happy to know that Olivia and I both escaped the incident unscathed, at least physically.

The memory still wakes both of us up at night from time to time.

There are just some things that moms (and babysitters) are better at.