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Dear Amy,

My roommate has started selling essential oils and now our entire apartment smells like an herbal crime scene: lavender in the fridge, peppermint on the doorknobs, oregano diffusing all night long. She says it’s for “wellness” but I’m starting to lose my grip on reality. How do I ask her to dial it back without ruining our friendship (or my sinuses)?

— Diffused and Confused

Dear Diffused and Confused,

Surely you’ve heard the expression, “If you can’t beat ‘em join ‘em?” It’s clearly too late for you so your only option is to lean in. Embrace the lifestyle. Start wearing flowy shawls, refer to yourself as a “light healer,” and tell visitors you’re detoxing their aura with every breath. Even things out with your own “counter diffusing” campaign. Start bottling your own “essential” concoctions like “Eau de Leftover Pad Thai” or “Couch Cushion Musk” and leave them casually next to her diffuser. When she comments, say, “It’s for balance.”

If she still won’t budge, bring in the big guns — sage bundles, incense towers, a fog machine. When she asks what’s going on, just whisper, “I’m aligning the chi.” Then float away barefoot.

Or better yet, take matters into your own slippery hands. Casually replace her essential oils with olive oil, vegetable oil, or whatever used cooking grease you have on hand.

Watch with satisfaction as her diffuser struggles to spit out the aroma of sautéed onions instead of lavender bliss. When she complains, widen your eyes and gasp, “Oh no, maybe your diffuser’s broken!” Offer to “help” her clean it, and while you’re at it, make sure it mysteriously stops working altogether. That’s not passive-aggressive — that’s self preservation.

It’s perfectly reasonable to want your home to feel comfortable — and not like the inside of a head shop. Start with a polite but honest conversation. Acknowledge that it’s cool she’s passionate about her business, but that the intensity of the smells is overwhelming. Suggest a designated area or set times for diffusing, like when you’re not home. Ask if she’d be willing to keep strong scents out of shared spaces and maybe off of the doorknobs (because that’s just weird). And if she truly values the friendship, she’ll want to find a compromise that keeps your sinuses intact.

And hey, kudos for not just throwing the diffuser out the window. That’s growth!

Best of bad advice,

Amy