TV ads ruffle finer sensibilities

Published 12:00 am Saturday, August 24, 2002

There must be a reason for my intense aversion to television commercials.

Let me enumerate some of the factors that contribute to that dislike.

First off there are the untimely interruptions that derail the flow in dramatic presentations.

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Next, it rambles my innards to listen to advertisements designed (?) to promote certain products, with obscure ramblings that bear little or no relationship to the items involved.

The you have all these intimate, and revealing ads that involve women n their wanton, enticing (?) semi-nudity, their feminine hygienic procedures, and infinitisms.

The blurbs that repeatedly tell all about programs that are scheduled for later dates also are irritating and offensive.

At one time while hospitalized, I ran out of things to do, an, to fill that void decided to count the number of minutes consumed by ads in hour-long programs. The resultant count was precisely 31 minutes worth of commercials vs. 29 minutes of programming. Ain't that a shame!

Now, to get back into the scolding mode, let's verbalize about program or channel titles, such as Son of the Beach, which we find to be a particularly offensive usage.

Another suggestive phrase is applied to a computer company: &uot;It's easy as Dell.&uot;

For some reason the most reprehensible TV (channel 33) slogan is &uot;The Best Damn Sports Program Period.&uot;

Not only does the program title offend, but it points up succinctly the trend toward which this planet is leaning.

We have come to a place where tradition is crumbling and moralistic values are a thing of the past.

Some television programming insults the finer sensibilities.

As Bobby Burns may have said of today's TV trends: &uot;Wad some pow'r the giftie gie us to somehow update our mute buttons to automatically blank out all commercial offerings.&uot;